so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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