Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
