I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
