**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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