I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
