I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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