I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
