Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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