He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
