shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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