I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
