Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
