she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
