THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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