I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
