Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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