You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
