Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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