Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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