They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We need a shit load of segways right now
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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