I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
