so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
