I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
