I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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