yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
