the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
