How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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