Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
