By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
