I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
