This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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