You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
