Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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