the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
