his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
