highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
