I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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