I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The adults are the big ones right?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
