It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
