I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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