Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
