i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How naked do you want me to be?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
