tell your sister to shave her snatch
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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