Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
