i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
