she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
