I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
