if you like me you must not know who I am
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
