Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
