was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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